As many of you would know when it comes to climbing, I'm a guy that cares about fashion.
This September to hail the beginning of Spring and the colourful change of season, we at the ANUMC are going to have a colour parade of our own. Every Wednesday night at the climbing wall in September is going to be Tight Night. That's right, tights, leggings, leotards, shapely short shorts. If its tight and made out of spandex its welcome.
This parade of colour will celebrate climbing fashions of decades gone by. The halycon days of the 70s and 80s, when a climber's metal was measured by the garishness of their best climbing getup. When rocking up as a stylish mofoat the crag was almost as important as crushing on the rock-face. It was a time that lived up to Alex Honnold's personal motto "Look good, climb good", and we at the ANUMC intend to go bring it "Back To The Future"-style
to the ANU wall this month.
There will be three judges who will be at the wall every Wednesday night starting from next 12 September. They will be judging participating climbers on five criteria over the month of September:
1. The tighter the righter - Is it tight?
2. Mhmm those tights are fiiine - Do the tights have creative and original design?
3. So flashy, so jazzy - How technicoloured are the tights?
4. So ably, so shapely - How well does the tight fit that leg muscle?
5. Disorientation, excitation, its coordination baby! - How well coordinated is the climber's outfit overall/colour coordination across a climbing pair?
We don't hold competitions for no reason at the ANUMC, so there may be some radical prizes to be won at the end of the month. At the end of the competition, the judges will put 3-4 winning outfits on the ANUMC website, which everyone will then get a chance to vote for.
If you are away for mid-Semester breask, don't have time this weekend to go Op-Shopping, or if this competition has really got you in a noodle (how do I feel about wearing tights to the Climbing Wall? what is there to hide? Shouldn't I just give in to the spandex urges?) then don't stress! Judging will continue through the month, and individual outfits, rather than an ongoing total will be what wins the prize. This should give you plenty of time to start stocking up on some shapely af spandex to rock your glutes and the wall.
Also remember this is for fun, no one is obliged to participate. If you want to wear what you regularly wear to the climbing wall then "you go gurl". Tight Nights are just a chance to get a little loosey-goosey and tap into our inner spandex, which will hopefully help us flash all of our current climbing projects.
So whether you want to look as patterned as absolute crusher Lynn Hill, or as colour-coordinated as the infamous Catherine Desteville (*ahem* clearly my style guru for all that blue) or as swoll as Wolfgang Gullich's mo - the power is in your hands, and as Peter Parker's Uncle Ben from the fictional cartoon series Spiderman says - "With great power, comes great responsibility".
Tight Nights is every Wednesday night in September at the ANU Climbing Wall so start Op-Shopping this weekend to deck yourself out in some hunky af trunks!